It was interesting. With meditation, sometimes your soul's memory of the past would give you little glimpses into forgotten times. One example of that: Many years ago I had a friend who lived far away, but every time I saw him, once a year, sometimes twice a year, I always had this feeling ‘I know you from somewhere’. My mind had no idea where or when. But the feeling of recognition was very strong in my heart.

One year on my friend’s birthday, Guru called him down and was meditating upon him. Then Guru looked across at me and he said, “You two have been friends for many hundreds of years.” It confirmed what my heart or my soul had told me: This person is someone I knew from another life from another time.

Today
My heart is blessed with a new friend:
God's Compassion-Eye;
My mind is blessed with a new friend:
God's Forgiveness-Heart;
And my life is blessed with a new friend:
God's Wisdom-Whisper.

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. Today, December 6, Agni Press, 1996

One story came to my mind. We were in Canada, and Guru wanted to meet and then lift the previous Prime Minister. Jean Chrétien was his name.

Mr. Chrétien had agreed to the meeting, but not to the lifting. Guru was going to meet him in this little anteroom of his law practice. So I went there for this meeting, As soon as we went in there, his secretary says to me, “Oh, no filming.”  So, when Guru arrived, I told Guru this and Guru said to me, “You ask the Prime Minister.”

Well, I mean, if Guru says you have to do it, you have to do it. But I was thinking, “How is this going to happen?” Because normally the Prime Minister would come in, and it would all happen very quickly, and I would miss everything.

When I was going to graduate from high school, I was approximately 16 or 17 years old. I had just come to the Centre, and I asked Guru what I should do when I finished high school. After he asked me a few questions about the things that I enjoy doing—which at the time was just art and writing—he encouraged me to study journalism because he felt that it would be very useful to his mission if someone could write for the media.

And so that's what I did. I studied journalism and public relations. I was hired by the university when I graduated. I worked for about eight years in that field, doing photography and journalism within a university.

Of course that was a long time ago, and since then over the years, I have done various things. I worked in the printing industry because in the Puerto Rico Centre we used to print Guru’s books. It was from years of printing Guru's writings that I learned all about that world of printing presses. Eventually I was able to also work in the outside world in that kind of thing.

I must say that we were so fortunate to be able to have Guru physically there to tell us and guide us outwardly as well as inwardly of what we should be doing in our life. That's a supreme blessing.

I swam the English Channel swim in 1988. In 1989 we went to a mountain in Argentina called Aconcagua, which is one of the biggest mountains outside of the Himalayas. That started 18 years of high-altitude climbing. For 18 years, I went mountaineering on different places around the world: Alaska, Bolivia, Peru, Kyrgyzstan, Nepal and Tibet.

Basically, we worked our way up to climbing bigger and bigger mountains. We would always send a message to Guru through Ashrita about what we wanted to do to find out whether Guru would stand behind it, whether Guru thought it was a good idea or not.

Guru had a system of response that went from “Very good, very good”—that was a good one—to “Let him or let them.” If Guru said that… then that was Guru’s worst response. Guru probably didn't want to tell us too directly and “uninspire” us, but if Guru said “Let him,” that would mean that we would pretty much be on our own. That's how we took it anyway.

I was kind of a shy boy, young boy, in those days. It took me maybe a few weeks to get enough courage to go ahead and decide to go to the Sri Chinmoy Centre in Puerto Rico. I'll never forget when it happened. It was my birthday, and I was sitting at the dinner table with my family. I was living with my parents at the time. I was still in high school. I was sitting there having my meal, and from deep inside of me came this affirmation, out of the blue: “I am going to the Centre this week.”

So, I went. The first time I went to meditation, it was Wednesday evening. It was on the second floor in a small apartment, in a very humble area in Puerto Rico. There were between 20 and 30 people in this small meditation apartment.

Now, Guru was not physically there, but when I went in, I was clutching one of those yoga books. It was like my security blanket. I remember we waited in a separate room while they were preparing the meditation room. I was asking one of the older disciples—his name is Ananta and he passed away some years ago—if he thought it was good. He said, “Oh, yes, it’s very good.” They were very sweet. There was a vibration, an atmosphere there that was extremely powerful but also very peaceful. My heart was pounding with excitement.

So, the time came, and they called us into the meditation room, a very small room. In those days they would turn off all the lights and there would just be candles, with the candles on Guru’s chair in the front where Guru would sit when he visited, and candles and different shrines around. So, we were inside this real temple, there was a very sacred, very mystical, very, very inspiring feeling.

I was at NYU and I began doing Sufi dancing. At one point, the students that were leading the Sufi dancing said, “Our teacher is coming to give a weekend seminar. Would you like to join? His name is Pir Vilayat Khan.”

I felt Pir Vilayat Khan was very sincere, very spiritual, although I did not have an experience with him the way I did with Guru. But at the end of the two-day seminar, Pir Vilayat Khan said, “If any of you want to meet a real spiritual master, Sri Chinmoy is offering his annual New Year's meditation at Hunter College,” and he gave the date and time.

That is how I found Guru again. Some of you may recall that Pir Vilayat Khan and Guru became good friends. You may have seen a picture of Guru and Pir Vilayat Khan meditating on each other at the United Nations. Pir Vilayat Khan was very, very devoted to Guru.

I got a call on the phone from a disciple, a doctor in Vienna. He was very Austrian, very matter of fact, and he just said to me, “I'm trying to get a message to Guru that Shamita is dying.” Well, that got my attention!  

He explained that Shamita, a musician who plays the cello and is a very good ultra-runner, had run an ultra-race in Austria and had collapsed.

So, I knew that Guru would want as many details as possible. I remember writing them down. Pratush said that her organs were shutting down, which apparently is very, very serious. The doctors thought it was just a matter of time till she died.

Well, of course, I knew how serious that was, so I remember I ran out of the store, just dropped everything and ran out of the store. I remember jumping on my bicycle and pedaling like crazy to Guru's house.

Notes from a gallery exhibition of Sri Chinmoy’s art

Our exhibition opening night was special, as is always the case when Sri Chinmoy’s soul-birds and paintings are unveiled to the world. There were the welcoming speeches, a performance of Guru’s music by two vocal/instrumental groups, a video presentation, hot chai and snacks, mingling and befriending, a visitor’s book brimming with thoughtful and appreciative words:

Sri Chinmoy – I salute you! Always you disappear over a far horizon where few will ever go, trailing like a comet this long blazing beauty of your achievements, your beautiful words, beautiful worlds, splashes of bright color, this feeling left in my heart. Thank you.

Audience comment

Not only the paintings but the many quotations by Sri Chinmoy touched the hearts of our audience so memorably. We had sprinkled them among the three walls of paintings in large, bold type and these commentaries and insights caused much reflection and thoughtfulness.

One time in I think it was 1997, we had a Christmas trip in Mexico. On the Christmas trips, I worked very, very hard. I had to get up very early. I had to deal with some things in Guru's hotel room and I did a lot of media work and a lot of getting Guru on television. So, it was an exhausting time and a very busy time. I filmed for Guru to archive, but also, I did a lot of events which we would take to television. We used to get Guru on television a lot in all these countries.

After Guru held a concert one night, I was coming back to the hotel. I was not in a good space. I was very tired, but also mentally I was not in a good space, and you could say spiritually, I wasn't in a good space, since they often go together. I remember waiting in the lobby for Guru. I was some distance away because I knew I wasn't in a good consciousness, and I didn't want to bother Guru. There were a lot of disciples in the hotel lobby. I was tucked right away, almost out of sight.

There was another time, maybe in 2003, probably 2004, where, again, I used to do an enormous amount of work video for Guru. Guru had everything filmed and there was a lot of the equipment. I would carry cameras, tripods, lights, cabling—most of it by myself. So, after a while, my physical started breaking down. I was a lot younger then, but still, wrist problems, back problems… everything was torturing me. I was also not in a good spiritual space because the two can be related. Also, I hadn't slept much for many days. Whatever excuses, I wasn't in a good space.

All the same, I was very lucky because I used to go to Guru's house all the time. Most mornings I would be there for several hours during Guru’s lifting. And in the evenings, I would come too, and sometimes in the afternoon. I was very lucky to have that outer physical connection.

So, I told Guru, “I'm not in a good space. I'm having all these problems.”

Guru said, “I'm concentrating on your soul right now.”